nerves beginning to jangle

With only a few days remaining before London Triathlon I'm beginning to feel like someone who is sleeping in a new house on their own. Every sound and rustle and creak and beep raises the adrenilin another notch,. Convinced someone is in the house there's holding of breath, cursing being on your own, scrounging around mentally for phones and implements that could do harm etc etc

I feel like I'm in the sporting equivalent of that right now. Every niggle and ache feels like it could explode into pain at any second and therefore give me an excuse or force me out of participating. How I feel about that (i.e. a good or bad thing) varies wildly during the course of the day.

Earlier I was reading about a lady in her 50's who decided to get into triathlons. She's doing the same event as me, and in the same wave. Her last comment was "hey, if you see me, say hello". I'm not sure it's hello I'll be saying versus why in God's name and are you mad and all the while silently offering a prayer that I'm not still putting myself through this when I'm 50.

That being said, I think what's she's doing for herself is fantastic, really. If somewhat worrying.

Anyway, training wise, this morning I just did a 15 minute run. The bad news is I was pretty knackered afterwards. The good news is there's nothing I can do about it so no point in worrying.

last open swim prep done

I got up early, drove to Wraysbury and once I'd parked in Heron Lake decided to walk about a bit first and take things in before deciding anything about swimming. I went down to the water and watched as many of the swimmers cruised passed me heading for another circuit. Some were getting in and bobbing about getting water into their wetsuits and checking their goggles were on properly. Others were coming out, tired and cold but with that pleased look.

I got chatting to one lady who had just gotten out of the water. She had been very nervous having not been in open water since last year. One of the kayakers on safety duty had rowed alongside her to keep her company as she swam. It was just the tonic she needed and she left the water feeling good. Just as well really as she's going the Super Sprint next week in London too.

I took my cue and got dressed and into the water. I was feeling calm and very much like I was in control of things. I bobbed about for a while and got wet and comfortable before doing anything more drastic. I ended up chatting to John the kayaker too and that was nice 'cos he's also doing his first triathlon next week in London. Tis the season and all that.

Anyway, the upshot of this water love in was that I swam probably about 400 meters. I specifically didn't do the long circuit 'cos I didn't want to get myself into any dangerous areas. Today was about confidence building and reassurance. Best way to my mind of doing that was spending time in the water and and splashing about having some fun.

The only down side was my new goggles kept leaking water but better to learn that today than next week. I got a different pair when I got out and will try them out in the pool during the week. They look more like scuba goggles they're so big but hey, if they keep the water out I'm fine with that. My whole look is a fashion free area anyway.

Finally, after months of giving out about the weather and really struggling with the oppressiveness of it all, I beginning to get that sinking feeling we're about to turn a corner into hot hot weather. Normally, I'd be totally cool with that but having spent the summer aka my training time dodging monsoon rain showers and general spring like conditions the idea of having to do the race in hot weather isn't appetising. How ironic would it be though.

first brick complete

This time next week all being well I'll be on dry land with a medal round my neck and a glass of something in my hand.

Between now and then however is some hard work. Today I did my first brick - better late than never I guess. The good news is my legs managed the transition from cycling to running without much of a fuss. I didn't do the full 5k, decided to stop at 3 because I didn't want to totally kill myself. I did the full 20k on the bike though.

I'm pleased after that session and I guess it took about 1 hour twenty five minutes which is ok. I know I'm not in it for the time but anywhere between 2 hours and 2 hours 15 mins I'll be pleased with on the day.

Tomorrow morning I reckon I will get up and brace the open water again. Not because I need the pressure but because I think I need to get one last confidence booster in the wetsuit, iron out any last remaining fitting issues, perhaps try the suit I used last year to see if I feel any different in it instead.

God I can't wait for this time next week when this is all over.

exhausted day

I'm tired, my legs are tired and my neck / shoulders are getting tight. Guess it must be close to Triathlon time.

Yesterday I ended up doing a 5k run at lunchtime (34 minutes although I'd have preferred an oxygen mask). The reason why I ended up doing it is a long story but the upshot is it's knackered me. Today I didn't (aka couldn't) really do anything. A cycle home from the office and some walking but that's it.

I'll swim tomorrow instead. I'll be glad when this is over.

bike day today

Today was all about my bike. This morning I dropped it off at the lovely people in Putney Cycles. If you ever need a bike or have a bike problem they will look after you beautifully. It was the first check up for mine and it made sense to have it done before it's big work out next week.

Once I'd collected it this evening on my way back from work I decided to give it a bit of a work out and so toddled off along the worn lanes and few hills of South London. 20k and 55 minutes later I arrived home, ready for toast.

On the plus side both the bike and my legs are fine. The time was pleasing too 'cos I did include a few hills (doubling up where needed) and there was quite a wind about too. On the down side my back is really feeling all this extra attention. I had a 10 minute massage this morning from the lovely Janice and while I'd expected my shoulder blades to be a bit sore (woke up this morning to the skeletal equivalent of an orchestra warming up) I didn't expect the middle and arse end to be as tight as they were too. Ouch.

Sitting here now they are all whinging together. Ten more days to go before this is the night of the long great carb induced rest.

PS, I'm off the booze and have been for a week now. Feeling good for it.

strong running, felt good

Had a strong 30 minute run tonight. In the rain. It felt good and was restorative to my very delicate sense of confidence / terror balance as the days to the London Triathlon trickle down towards single digits away.

I managed to find a pace that was slightly quicker than I would normally go, actually maybe not quicker but it felt stronger. I felt taller and by definition, smoother. I did 5k in exactly 30 minutes and I could have gone on for some more but didn't want to.

Tomorrow my bike gets dropped in for a quick little check up, make sure everything is in working order. Reckon I'll take it for a long spin to make sure and then on Wednesday it will be back into the pool.

I need to balance resting and the drive to conserve energy with confidence building sessions. There's nothing I can do really between now and 4th August to dramatically improve fitness levels but I can get myself into the right frame of mind and I think short focused sessions mixed with one or two bricks and valuable rest time will help achieve that.

Christ it's getting awfully close.

calm before the open swim

Yesterday evening I went for a short run. My first trip out since last Sunday's 10k. It went ok but I was glad when it was over. Because I've got the London Tri Open Swim today I didn't want to do too much. Instead, wanting to make sure I have some energy in the tank to banish those open swim woes and fears from last weekend.

Speaking of which. After all the flooding I'm hoping the swim is still on. I've checked the website and there's no mention of anything. Equally I've not received any emails so assuming it's business as usual.

Anyway, I'm determined this time to get in, swim naturally and calmly. With two weeks to go it's really vital I get on track today and that next weekend I can take advantage too. It's not that I specifically want to do all this but I just feel I can't pull out and this is the only way of staying in.

Fingers crossed. I'll report back afterwards.

Fastest swim times, ever

This evening I went back to the pool. Having golfed / walked 10k yesterday I thought it would be a good idea to give my legs a rest.

Anyway, I had a blinder of a session. I did my usual break straight into 800 meters, exactly as it would be on tri day. I felt strong and focused the whole way and knew my time was going to be good. It was. 20:04. My fastest time by at least 1.30 minutes. I took a few minutes break and then re-attacked the same set to make sure I hadn't mis-counted.

That time I finished in 20:18. Result.

Tomorrow I'll do a run or bike or maybe even a brick depending on the weather. If not I'll do it on Sunday. Saturday is an Open Swim in Heron Lake with the London Tri people.

For this evening though it's all about the confidence building and knowledge that I can do a 20 minute 800m and still have something left in the tank. I had done a quick 3k cycle to the pool and a quick 3k cycle afterwards. Not quite a brick (swick?) session but at least mixing the right types together.

Bottom line, it felt good to be fast(er).

today's training diet of bike

Cycled the long way home today. It was nice actually, going through Hyde Park. All in all it was a 14k round trip and adding the cycle into work brought me up to approx 17k today. It's not earth shattering but if I can do that a few times a week for the next two weeks hopefully that will go some way towards steadying those lack of cycle mileage demons.

My job for the weekend though is to get my bike serviced. Making mental note.

The other thing taking place this weekend is Open Swim Remedial action. London Triathlon organisers are holding their final OS Training day on Saturday and they had a few places left so gven my trip on the hellish side last weekend I felt it was the right thing to do. £22 is saucy enough but if I can get beyond what happened on Saturday and find ways of keeping calm and relaxed in the water then to be honest it will be worth it.

Back in pool and breathing ok

Determined to not let the fiasco of my attempted / aborted open swim session on Saturday morning get me down too much I returned to the pool this evening to stamp an air of authority on the water.

I was focused, calm and not without a hint of the sociopath. I may have scared a few of the prospective new club members with my steely gaze but there you go. Needs must and all that.

Anyway, the positive is I was back in my swimming grove without any problems. I did 2 x 800m sets pretty much back to back. Both went fine, usual times.

The one thing I did differently though was to play with sightings and closing my eyes. I wanted to get used to the sense of what swimming blind feels like, in case the sight of what lies beneath the water gets too much at any point. Weirdly I managed to keep a reasonably straight line but I'm sure the pool and light had as much to do with that as anything else.

Main thing is, I've added some more miles to the swimming kitty and feel better as a result.

goodness greatrunness, 10k survived

After yesterday's fiasco in the water I was very unsure of whether to participate in the Great Capital 10k Run in Hyde Park today. I ended up spending yesterday pm asleep and for me that's definitely a signal that something is up. Because I can't put my finger on it (it's certainly not over training) and because it's having a pretty rotten affect on my pre tri confidence I decided to do all my usual pre run things to at least give myself the option in the morning depending on how I felt.

After doing some Harry Potterness I toddled off to bed and mercifully slept without incident. I woke up this morning and went through the regular prep motions and things felt normal enough except that I remain hot. I know the weather is warm and humid but I feel like I've got my own little internal engine thing going on. Fever perhaps.

Anyway, I headed off to Hyde Park feeling like I wanted to participate but making no decisions on run / walk. It just didn't make sense to put myself under that kind of pressure given the touch and go nature of participating in the first place.

I know some people might call it a bit silly and yes it probably went against the strictest of interpretations of the organisers wishes but I felt for me it was important to do something even if I only ran 2k and walked the rest. Part of me also wondered if I was feverish, this might help sweat it out of me - as long as remained well hydrated of course.

I got to Hyde Park just after 9 for an official 10am start although my wave started some time after that. The atmosphere was good, friendly and thankfully after the disaster of the British 10k a few weeks back, this was beautifully spacious with all the facilities you would ever need.

Moving forward, I felt ok at the start. I knew I was hydrated, I knew I was under no pressure and I knew I could do the distance. All of this helped to keep me focused and calm so off we all went. I ran until the 5k mark (34 mins) and took some walking time out to make sure I didn't overdo things. This run wasn't about times for me. The remaining 5k I ran and walked with more intervals 'cos I could feel myself burning up and I think general energy levels weren't up to it anyway.

End result I finished in about 73 minutes which is totally fine. This was my third ever 10k. The first one (last year's Run London which funnily was the exact same route) I finished in 74 minutes and the British 10 I did two weeks ago in 70 minutes. From that perspective I feel better although I'm pretty convinced now that something is up.

On the event itself, it was great. Well organised, great crowds, nice goody bag with a t-shirt that made me punch the air in delight. I will definitely look to participate in it next year. It was friendly for all levels and having staggered starts according to your expected finish time meant you could reasonably avoid being knocked down by faster runners approaching from behind.

Always a bonus.

panic attack in the open water

If I tried to put my finger on what's been going on (or not as it turns out) in my training for this years London Triathlon I think lack of fear would feature. I think I've gone from one extreme last year (total petrification) to a sense of yes you can do it this year, no matter what almost.

This morning I had something akin to a panic attack in a lake out in Surrey. I didn't see it coming.

Basically, I've been swimming but not to the same extent as last year. Each time I've gotten in the pool I've been able to do the distance without much of an issue and always around the same, 22 minute time. Because of that I felt reasonably confident the swimming leg was in order. I didn't have a problem with the swimming last year and have never had a problem in water.

I had gotten a new wetsuit and decided an open swim in it was the only way to make sure it fitted correctly. Not for one moment did I expect to run into problems on the swim itself. Foolishly it just didn't enter my head. Anyway, the wetsuit went on, it was all fine. I did a few stretches and popped into the water. Within maybe 100 yards of starting I could feel my breathing go all over the place. I stopped, bobbed, concentrated and talked myself into being strong and getting back to basics. Onwards.

This pattern continued and instead of doing a full circuit I limped over from one side of the circuit to the other and headed for home. I can't say I was distraught but certainly a very unhappy bunny. Not only was I uncomfortable in the water, I was breathing badly, I could go for any distance at all without having to stop and calm myself down. One thing that was interesting since my last open swim (2006 tri) was that I can see. I mean not wearing my glasses when I swim allowed me to not see what I was swimming in. I didn't have that "luxury" this time so everything was crystal clear and that I think that probably had something to do with the uncomfortability levels too.

End result is I tried the wetsuit and it's fine but I have much bigger problems. This day three weeks time is the triathlon and I will need to get this wretched panic out of my bones so I can get back into the water and swim like I know I can.

Really didn't expect to be writing this type of account.

3.5 weeks to ... fear kicks in

Over the last three days I have managed to get out on my bike, get into the pool and get round those hard circuits. End result is I have managed the three individual disciplines and not required hospitalisation. This is the good news.

The bad news is I think to do all three together I will need to be ingesting energy tabs and having intravenous red bull for a week beforehand. This is tough kids, don't try it at home !

Flip flopping back to the good news, having not been in the pool for a week I still did the distance in just under 22 minutes. This is still consistent and I have to say I'm relieved. No aches and pains to speak of so far. On the bike front I did the 20k in around the hour mark which if I do on the day I will also be fine with. The only cause for concern is my lower back. The tweaking I did to it the other week still hasn't cleared up even though I've scaled back on both training and especially the bike to allow it recover. Will have to watch that carefully.

Yesterday evening I went back out for a run. Shamefully my first run since the British 10k last weekend. I did the 5k in approx 30 minutes which for me is a strong run. I felt ok at the end of it and while I didn't want to go on I probably could have if I really needed to. I've got the Great Run - another 10k - next Sunday so if I can keep the running ticking over until then that will be ok.

With 3.5 weeks left to the big day, my thinking at this stage - all Alan Rickman and his brilliant "cancel Christmas" line from the film that dare not speak its name - is to get myself out of as many engagements as I can until then and really knuckle down. At this stage I don't think it's about pounding out the hours, I think it's more about training smart and building up the transitions and being in water with the wetsuit and getting used to the changeovers. Not adding lots of hours just being smarter and more focused about how I use them.

I know I've said all this before but I've quite simply run out of time and with fear as my stick this time, the carrot is all about finishing.

training doesn't live here anymore

Am in dentist hell. No sporting activity of any kind to report. The chances of having some are slim and if this doesn't get sorted out soon then I shudder to think what will happen.

This year really has been a catalogue of inconsistency with a few highs but many more if onlys. It's depressing and if I was in any less pain, I'd be wallowing fully in the depression and frustration of it all. But I am so I can't.

waking up 90

Today I woke up knowing what I will feel like when I'm 90. I should really have checked myself into a hospital to have them take measurements and conduct tests that could be saved and replayed to me in 55 years time.

My hips no longer feel attached to me. My shoulders feel like they have boulders sitting on top of them.

When I go to walk, I feel like a baby animal, a giraffe perhaps, must feel like when they are forced up off their feet by the big mean adult and there's nothing for it but to see what the dangly bits can do. To say I've been hobbling and wobbling and wavering and generally pinballing my way around doesn't do my shapes any justice.

The upshot of all of this is unclear to me. I believe my shoulders are sore because I must have been pumping them pretty hard to get around the 10k yesterday. My hips, well, I'm not a natural runner and given the pounding they are bound to throw their toys out of the pram. Do the aches and pains mean I've stretched my level of fitness like a good strong training session or does it mean this is my tipping point?

I don't believe it will negatively impact (in as much as anything like this could) my triathlon attempt but I do wonder if it marks the boundaries of what my body is willing to endure. Yes it's possible to train for anything with the eright preparation but at some point physiology has to kick in, right?

Anyway, I cycled the 3k to and from work today and that was enough. I will see how I feel tomorrow morning and if up for go for a swim. I think the pool environment would be good for my aching aging muscles while still giving me some sense of training achievement (very needed as I enter a three in a row evening entertainment cycle).

I feel old.

British 10k in the bag

Success !!

Given that I woke up on Thursday morning inexplicably not being able to walk (back ache) I sit here now with a medal around my neck and feeling quite chuffed with myself. I ended up tweaking my back a little on Tuesday evening when I went for a long cycle. Things seemed fine on Wednesday so I thought I had passed the bad part but then woke up on Thursday in quite the painful state so wasn't sure whether I'd make it to today or not but rest, rest and a short swim yesterday evening seemed to have helped.

The race today was fun, in that sadistic kinda way. There were thousands of runners and I have to say, as a first timer, thousands of people cheering the length of the 10k which really was a fantastic support to those of us hoping to complete rather than the compete the trip.

My time was exactly one hour ten minutes which means I was approx five minutes faster than my previous (and only other) 10k. Thinking about it, that means technically I have a new personal best .. woo hoo. I stopped to walk only once for three minutes at the 8k marker on Westminster Bridge. Given everything during the week I wanted to make sure I didn't completely knacker myself for the next five weeks in pursuit of the 10k so have no problem with walking at all.

I will take tomorrow off or do a proper swim to stretch out. I need to get back on the bike again but given the whole back thing I will take it handy and see how things come along. I think if I can keep myself running that's got to be a good thing for the overall fitness levels. For today however, it's all about being a runner and achieving a new goal. I'll take it.